A Look in the Mirror - Week 1
Through these few weeks of writing the devotionals, I’ve come to realize that talking about these things is far different from internalizing them. I’ve realized that these devotionals and sermons are not only for everyone else to hear, but for me to think about and live by.
———
Agreeableness
When I sat down and started thinking about biblical agreeableness in my own life, I realized that I have a tendency to make conversations about myself. Most of the time it looks like relating to a story about me, or giving unsolicited advice.
The more I pondered, the more I realized that I was making the conversations more comfortable for myself, instead of others. I try to say things so they make sense to me, or keep things in my own worldview. It isn’t intentional, but it is there.
That, however, is the point of agreeableness. It’s not about letting go of who we are and what we believe, it’s about making space for those around us to be more comfortable. We want those around us to feel safe and seen, even when they think differently than we do. With these things in mind, I’m going to work to let go of the need to be right, and instead find ways to make others feel more comfortable around me.
———
Disagreeableness
Writing about disagreeableness felt like I was taking a mirror to my old habits and tendencies. I’ve shared before that I used to correct people constantly (little things, technicalities, anything that needed fixing), and my own struggles with that lifestyle.
It wasn’t always malicious, in fact most of the time I thought I was helping those people. The thing is, no matter my intentions, it made people feel small, and made them feel judged. I had one instance when I corrected a teacher without even thinking about it, and didn’t even realize that I corrected him until a few seconds later.
I’ve grown a lot in this area, though I still find myself tempted to correct people sometimes. When I hear something that I don’t think is right, or that I don’t agree with, my brain still wants to jump in and correct them.
The devotional reminded me that disagreeableness, no matter how small, can still be detrimental to those around me. Even if our words are true, if they’re said without compassion or love, then they can hurt the very people we mean to help. We are allowed to correct people; Jesus himself corrected people. The difference is that he corrected those people with compassion in his heart. That is who I want to be.
———
Ambition
The devotional about ambition hit close to home. I like to think that I’m a driven person. I have goals, things that I strive for in my life. For instance, I want to see this ministry grow. The truth is, though, that ambition can start to twist if we don’t pay attention to it.
Often, we start to chase numbers instead of souls. We start to think about how we’re perceived, instead of how we’re serving. A big question that has come up for me is why I’m doing this ministry.
I’m learning that healthy ambition doesn’t come from pride, but from purpose. God gave me a life, and a purpose to fulfill. I started this ministry to help others, not myself. I’m learning, though, that helping others is helping me to learn more about what God wants my life to look like.
———
Satisfaction
Satisfaction is a sneaky one, because it can disguise itself as peace, or contentment. Realistically, it can often be spiritual laziness. Writing that devotional, I realized that I often am spiritually lazy. I start to coast, and relax. That’s not inherently wrong; life is good and easy. However, that’s where the danger lies.
When we get so comfortable that we stop pushing for more, to learn more and soak in God’s love. I’ve realized this week that I’ve been getting too comfortable with things: prayer feeling mechanical, studying scripture less, that kind of thing.
It’s not about shame, this is about recognizing that God wants me to grow, not to settle. There is so much more for me in the world, and God doesn’t want me to be ok with “just fine”.
———
These messages have challenged me. Not only as a writer, or as a teacher, but as a follower of Christ. I want to be someone who practices what I preach, and that includes admitting when I’m falling short. I’m not sharing this as someone who has everything figured out, but as someone who is taking this walk of faith with each of you.
Thank you for joining me, and I hope you have a wonderful week. God bless!